Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize