Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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