Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
