i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
