dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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