he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
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he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
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We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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