How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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