I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
