My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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