There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I pour the whiskey from now on
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I love you.
Bad choice
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