More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
