the new term for farting is butt boxing.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
