i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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