Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
