Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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