Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
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you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
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you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize