i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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