just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize