i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
