just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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