Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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