dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
