i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
