did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
