she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
