Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she told me i tasted like america
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
