Kiss
Puke
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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