it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
