I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
