That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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