Non-Jews are for practice
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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