Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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