Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize
