I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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