He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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