If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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