totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize