it's too hot outside to masturbate.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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