what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
