oh god the rape fog is back!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
