quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Text me some of your sweat
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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