Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
