The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
