We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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