Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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