Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
