I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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