you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.