Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Drunk is not a location!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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