I'm drive I can fine osifer
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
