as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
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Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
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I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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