just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
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It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
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You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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