just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
