It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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