Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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