she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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