Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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